Rollercoasters, the Austrian Alps and the Search for Black Forest Gateau | European Road Trip Part Two

Stop 4 – Europa Park, somewhere over the German border

We couldn’t have a road trip without a theme park! And this isn’t just any theme park: this is Europe’s largest, themed entirely around… you guessed it, Europe! Complete with a Little England. (They must have built it before we left the EU, since they’d put quite a lot of effort into it).

Now, this might be controversial, but in our humble opinion, this theme park beats another very famous theme park many times over. And don’t get me started on the UK theme parks.

It was massive, with over 100 rides and attractions spread across more than a dozen European-themed lands, and had every ride imaginable. There were several rides similar to those you might find elsewhere, but with slightly different, and mostly better, theming. There were far more rollercoasters and pretty much something for every person of every age.

Perhaps that shouldn’t be surprising, because Europa-Park started life in 1975 as a showcase for the Mack family’s own ride-manufacturing business. The idea came about after a trip to America convinced them that Europe needed a theme park of its own. Fifty years later, it welcomes something like six million visitors a year and is regularly voted the best theme park in the world. So, they appear to know what they’re doing.

And the best part? Hardly any queues! Even for the most popular rides, the wait rarely exceeded 30 minutes, with most of the biggest, award-winning rides sitting at around 20 to 25 minutes. The longest queue I saw all day was 40 minutes. We went back later and it was a modest 20.

This has to be Europe’s best-kept secret. There seems to be no marketing to the UK, perhaps because they would rather direct us elsewhere. We only found it by looking at a map…

We stayed in one of the themed hotels on site, the Krønasår Museum-Hotel, and once again, the photos speak for themselves.

We spent two days in the park and one day at its water park, Rulantica.

Stop 5 – Grüner Baum

We spent most of the day at Rulantica, the water park next to Europa-Park. It was decent enough and mostly indoors, which was good for keeping out of the sun and means it can be enjoyed all year round. As with the theme park, there were slides and entertainment for all ages and thrill levels, along with good, clean changing areas and, most importantly, a bar in the water!

We then made our way to Grüner Baum, about an hour and a half away, through the Black Forest. I can attest that the Black Forest is, in fact, forest-like, but not very black. Disappointingly green, in fact. Not sure why it's called the Black Forest.

I looked it up: it's called the Black Forest because the Romans named it "Silva Nigra," on account of the dense fir and pine canopy blocking out so much light it looked almost black from a distance.  It may once have looked black, but it was looking suspiciously green when we drove through it.

Still, I was looking forward to some Black Forest gateau for dessert.

The town itself was not the most inspiring. It was definitely not a tourist stop, but the restaurant was surprisingly good.

Now, whenever we go to Spain, we have a slight obsession with car-park restaurants. All the good restaurants are in car parks. Don’t ask me why, it’s just the way it is: the fish restaurant, the Italian, the bacon-butty café… you get the idea. It’s almost as though we specifically seek them out.

Well, this was the German equivalent. Unassuming, on the side of a road in what might be the most boring town in Germany, opposite the Allianz office, was the most fabulous restaurant, serving excellent local beers and wines and gourmet food.

Go figure…

Sadly, there was no Black Forest gateau on the dessert menu.

Stop 6 – Alpenrose, Lermoos, Austria

We set off and visited Lake Constance for lunch. It is, allegedly, according to the Telegraph Travel supplement, one of the great lakes of the world. It was reasonably nice, I suppose, though I'll admit the real fun fact is the lake itself, (S couldn’t get his head around this one!) it borders three countries (Germany, Switzerland and Austria), and to this day nobody has agreed exactly where the water border between them actually runs. Nothing like a bit of ambiguous geopolitics with your lakeside lunch.

Then finally, to the main event: Alpenrose, Tyrol. Hurray!

I'd say it was just as we remembered it (this is our third or fourth time, I think), but no… it's even better. It's had an upgrade with some extra stuff added, including a swanky new bar, a marshmallow-toasting pit, and a baby bar, which is ingenious. The babies go in the soft play area in the middle, or into one of the comfy little rocker chairs (or bassinets), while the parents sit up at a mini bar supervising. What joy! (Not that we need it, but I wish they'd had it when we first brought S along, back in the day…)

We also had the pleasant surprise of being upgraded to the biggest suite imaginable, complete with a log fire, multiple rooms, a jacuzzi bath and a private sauna. It also has a huge terrace overlooking the resort and the Austrian Alps.

There is so much to do here: a swimming pool, family spa, mini water park, indoor soft play, games room, climbing wall, and an amazing kids' club with lots of organised activities such as chocolate making, as well as free play.

Then, of course, there are the Alps. You can go up in the cable car and walk back down; the trails round here are dotted with fun kids' activities like playgrounds, challenges (long jump and the like), musical bells, and puzzles to solve along the way. It's a common theme across all the trails in the area, and it's much more interesting than trudging up and down the Wainwrights (all 214 of them) in the Lake District, and a lot safer too!

Suddenly, we're wishing we were staying here longer! Who needs medieval German towns when you have the Alps? And the best part… the Alpenrose has Black Forest gateau (I knew it wouldn’t let me down).

Next time: more medieval villages, the real Disney castle and the BBC: Bruges, Beer and Chocolate!